Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
