i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
