I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
