Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
