i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
