btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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