yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sex in the backyard? Check.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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