At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
