just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
