They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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