his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize