Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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