5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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