U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My breasts were aching with rage.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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