I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pants are for mortals
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
