I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
