I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
