even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I could fuck to npr.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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