Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
