He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
