i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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