After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
