Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think people are normalizing furries
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
