Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
