I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
