I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
