I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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