He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
