this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
