when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize