Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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