I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
