pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
