Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
