You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize