oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
