OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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