We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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