yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize