i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
