You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
