is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
another moral hangover. fuck.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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