Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
