This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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