Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
