haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We have so much sex to catch up on
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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