It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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