I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
