i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
