i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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