we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
