grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
