I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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