just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
