Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
