Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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