There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
its liver damage thursday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
