Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
