Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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