i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
