that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
