How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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