I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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