I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
