i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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